Kevin AmolschIf you walked into a room full of some of the most financially successful people you know, people who have built real wealth, own real estate, sold companies, and managed large portfolios, what do you think they’d be talking about?
I can tell you exactly what they’d be talking about. More. More returns, more deals, more growth. How to grow and protect what they have. It’s what high achievers and wealthy people do. They build assets and cash flow. More assets is not all they talk about, though. They also talk about more time with the ones they love and more happiness. Where people get tripped up is on how you measure and track happiness. The problem many of us face is that we are overly focused on the numerator. Let me explain what I mean.
The Formula for Happiness and Success
One member in one of the groups I participated in proposed a definition of happiness with a formula. This is a framework he learned from Arthur Brooks, the author of From Strength to Strength. This idea turned into a lengthy and deep discussion. This individual, who is also named Kevin, made the strong argument to show up to the next meeting with something we don’t want or want to lose instead of always talking about what we have.
The formula is:
Happiness = What you have / What you want
Happiness is measured by the relationship between what you have and what you want. That’s it. And once you grasp this concept, it is there forever.
The premise is straightforward. If what you have increases while your wants stay the same, happiness rises. But if your wants increase faster than what you have, even if you’re objectively becoming more successful, happiness falls. You can be winning by every measurable standard and still feel like you’re behind. This is why so many people spend as much as they make. They think that having and spending more will make them happier.
What Are We Actually Measuring?
So, here’s the question that was discussed for more than an hour in a room of 12 highly successful people. Where should we put our energy?
For most of us, almost all of it goes to the numerator. We track it, measure it, and report on it. I write these newsletters every month and do our podcast and YouTube channel, always focused on growing tangible wealth. How to increase returns, cash flow, and net worth. How to do more deals and leverage more money. All the numerator because it is easy to focus on and easy to measure.
The denominator, though? That’s a different story. We don’t track our wants; we just know that we want more. Have you ever heard the song by Kenny Chesney, “Rich and Miserable?” I love the song, but it is a depressing message.
Kevin was not saying that ambition is bad. He’s not telling us to stop building. He’s making a different point altogether. That lasting happiness might come easier from managing desires, practicing genuine gratitude, and appreciating what already exists more than growing our tangible wealth.
The people in that room are disciplined trackers. They pay attention to the numbers with benchmarks. They hold themselves and their peers accountable. Where they, myself included, struggle is having that same discipline with the denominator.
Questions to Think About
Since this intense discussion, I have started asking myself these questions that I wanted to share with you. Thinking about these regularly is a great first step to focusing on the denominator:
- How well do I manage desires vs. appreciation for what I already have?
- What have I stopped wanting?
- How can I lower my expectation of what “enough” is?
I’m not suggesting we stop growing, stop building, or stop caring about results. I believe the numerator is an important piece of the formula. I am only suggesting that if we are able to grow the numerator AND shrink the denominator, we will get much farther and feel more successful.
To me, happiness is success!
If you’re working toward building wealth through real estate, growing your business, or simply creating more financial freedom, we’d love to be part of that journey. Reach out to the Pine Financial Group team to talk about your next investment opportunity and see how we can help you keep building toward your goals.