Kevin AmolschThere is no self-made success! Every success story has two things in common: struggle and support. We know, or at least we are told, that the people in our lives shape who we are. As the saying goes “You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.” I believe that it may be more than five but I 100% agree.
I participate in two separate group texts where the group is constantly pushing and supporting. Both groups also meet in person, but we stay in touch via text. There are multiple messages a day and when these groups get going, there are a LOT of texts. Both groups are full of highly successful, motivated, and supportive individuals. It is like a safe room where you can share failures and successes and not be judged. Often it is much harder to share our success. You know you are with a great group if you are high-fived, hugged, and supported when you share your wins.
As I was reading the most recent slew of texts, I realized that very little of the text messages are about money. Sure, money is important, but it is much more about what money can help you accomplish and not much about the money itself. Many entrepreneurs and investors get started because they are chasing money but lose sight of why they wanted it in the first place. The most recent idea that was filling up my inbox was the idea of large exits from companies where the owner was hit with huge amounts of cash. What do they do when they sell their company and have a $50 or $100 million payday? How do they feel? What are the concerns or challenges?
It was a very fascinating conversation with actual supporting data behind the ideas. We were discussing an article that a member of Tiger 21 wrote. Tiger 21 is a group of high-net-worth individuals who get together to talk about life. This entrepreneur had a nine-figure exit but did not feel joy in her life. She was still concerned about money. It made her think, so she started interviewing other business owners with huge exits. Out of the hundred interviews, she only put 20 into the satisfied category, Astonishing!
This article got the group talking about the stages of wealth and how the only true way to be happy and satisfied with all the hard work is to shift your mind from a selfish pursuit of wealth to an unselfish one. That is an interesting concept to get your mind around. The idea of pursuing a purpose and using money as a tool to accomplish it is what creates satisfaction. It is about making a difference!
This is one example of what is discussed in these text threads. Other common concepts include mindfulness, how to be a better husband, parenting strategies, and charities we all support. It becomes so obvious where I can improve in all these areas when I am communicating with amazing high achievers about this stuff every day. These groups are pushing me. They are calling me out. They are pressuring me to be better if they know it or not. It is like I am trying to keep up with the Joneses’ but in a very positive way. I am trying to keep up with my like-minded peers who are constantly trying to become better humans.
Kids are easily influenced by their peers, much like I am with these text groups. The idea of teaching them not to be influenced and pressured feels like a mistake. I have decided to teach them to be influenced but to make sure they are influenced by the right group. I want to teach them that working as a team and expecting and accepting support from their closest friends is important. I want to teach them to judge and challenge the advice they receive and know when the behavior supports or damages their goals. I want to teach them that their peers and the pressure they receive are important to their success.
It is my view that money is important and that we should make it, but money does not define success. True success is hard. It takes work. It takes drive and grit. And… it is so worth it! But we can’t do it alone. We need help. We need peer pressure.